An Immigrant Son Launches Riveting Memoir:

Just Lassen to Me! – A First-Generation Son’s Story: Surviving a Survivor

Is it possible to admire a man’s accomplishments but abhor what he stands for, to seek his blessing but spur his legacy? What is that man is your father?

In his newly published memoir, Just Lassen to Me!, and perhaps for his whole life, Harvy Simkovits has strived to answer those questions about his father, Johnny.

“My father was like Tony Soprano but without the gun,” Simkovits remarked. “He was an exceedingly charming man who knew how to entertain and exploit people’s vices.” He smiled. “And there was hardly a vice he didn’t like.”

Simkovits’ memoir, subtitled “Survivor Indoctrination” is the first of a series, with the second book “Survivor Teachings” being released this year.

“I grew up in a troubled family. Both of my parents were hot-headed. You never knew when the next time bomb would explode,” Simkovits said.

His parents were born in Kosice, Czechoslovakia (now Slovakia). At 18, Harvy’s father was conscripted into the Czechoslovak military. Then, in 1938, when most of Czechoslovakia was carved up between the Germans and Hungarians, the elder Simkovits was transferred into the Hungarian forces and was taught to be an electro technician. “After the war broke out in ’39,” the son recounted, “my father was transferred into the German Air Force to be trained as a recon pilot to gather intel over Soviet territory.”

In 1943, after taking on many dangerous missions, Johnny decided to ditch his plane into enemy territory and defect to the Soviet side. After six months as a POW, he was re-conscripted into The Czechoslovakia First Army based in Russia to fight against the Germans. Harvy remarked, “My father told me, ‘I never fought for any country or cause but just to save my own skin.’”

Right after the war, the staunch capitalist Johnny started a business in his hometown. But in 1948, after the Soviet takeover of Czechoslovakia, he found himself in another predicament not of his own making.

Harvy added, “The Soviets just sent him a letter saying he no longer owned his business but now was just the manager of it, working for the government.” Johnny’s son took a long breath. “My father lost everything he had built.” He took a deep breath. “He was also thrown into jail for suspected sabotage against the state, but was released for lack of evidence.”

From then on, Johnny no longer trusted any government. Within a year, he married Harvy’s mother, and they illegally escaped from Communist Czechoslovakia. His son explained, “My dad was determined to become somebody and to protect any future assets by any means possible, be they legal or illegal, honorable or unethical.”

When Harvy’s parents fled Czechoslovakia, they headed for Israel, disguised as Hungarian emigrants. However, when they were in Vienna, they heard about war raging in the new Palestinian state. They changed directions and headed to Canada. “As my parents’ story goes, one turbulent event changed the course and fate of our family lineage.” Harvy’s voice rose. “I could have been born and raised in Israel.”

Harvy’s mother also had her traumatic survivor stories. She and her Jewish family hid in Budapest during the war, employing false Christian papers. Harvy’s eyes looked down. “Any of them could have been caught and sent to a concentration camp at any time. Eleven of them survived by hiding under different Christian names that they had borrowed or stole from others.” His voice rose again. “Ninety percent of the rest of my mother’s extended Jewish family were killed in Kosice or sent to Auschwitz where they died.”

Simkovits said that researching and writing about his family has helped him better understand what his parents went through, and what his parents had put him through during his upbringing and life. “My parents loved my brother and me, but they were almost always in conflict. They ended up splitting their children. My brother became more loyal to my mother while I became my father’s confident.”

Johnny told Harvy many of his business and money-making secrets. “Dad told me where he stashed his money offshore, and I held that secret for nearly three decades.”

Harvy had to get those burdens off his shoulders, for they would affect future generations of his family if he didn’t repudiate, rectify, and reconcile his past. “The book is about my surviving my survivor father.” Harvy frowned. “My dad sadly left me with many money and family messes to clean up. In telling my story, I hope that others who grew up in turbulent families, mired in strife and secrets, gain some hope and resilience from reading my tell-all tale.”

Simkovits holds a BS and MS from MIT. He spent less than a year at Harvard Business School before withdrawing from the program. He explained. “My father wanted me to go to engineering school, business school, and then law school before coming into the family business.” Harvy grinned. “There he could tell me what to do because of his greater life and business experience.” Harvy’s eyes lowered. “I followed my dad’s direction for a while until I realized it was his path and not mine.”

He raised a hand. “But at Harvard, I discovered the field of organizational behavior, which I liked. I later decided to enroll in a master’s program in organizational and human resource development at American University.”

That change launched Simkovits’ successful 25-year career in the area of management consulting and executive coaching. “Though my father was successful in business, he was hard on people,” the younger Simkovits recounted. “He could yell and scream at the smallest mistake; it sent shivers up my spine.” His face projected determination. “I now help other business owner-managers become thoughtful and well-spoken leaders and to avoid the mistakes my father made in our family business.”

Simkovits and his wife moved to Lexington MA over twenty years ago and put two kids through school. “I want my kids to discover their successful path rather than do what my father did to me. Kids today need to come into their own with parental guidance and not overbearing expectations.”

Harvy’s son is learning politics and economics at Washington University. Harvy said, “My father would have liked his grandson. My son wants to become a lawyer one day, but for the common good and not to use his skills for unethical or criminal purposes in the service of finagling guys like his grandfather.”

And Simkovits’ daughter will be entering the University of Hartford and will study graphic arts. “Unlike my mother, she will find her career and hopefully become an independent woman, not dependent or codependent as my mother was. It will be up to her how she will live her life.”

When not consulting or writing, Simkovits says he is “a serial non-profit board member,” usually serving as VP Administration or Finance or as Treasurer. “I like numbers and to account for the money,” he said with a smile and a wink. Simkovits has had many stints on professional association boards, and he currently serves as Treasurer of his local church.

Simkovits’ first and second books are available on Amazon.com, both in paperback and e-book. He is donating fifty percent of book profits to nonprofits supporting victims of domestic abuse and violence. “In part, I wrote my memoir for my mother. She got a raw deal from my father. I hope she somehow knows that I’m now helping women like her and children like me to survive their tumultuous pasts.”